I’m sitting here and the screen is just so totally blank. Well, it’s not now, is it, because I’ve just typed this. Every time I type something it looks a bit less blank. Which is rather good, as it happens. I’ll just keep typing stuff until I’ve done enough. And then I won’t have to think about not being able to think of anything to write about.
Because you have those days, don’t you? Days when you get out of bed totally without inspiration. Days you can’t be bothered putting your feet on the floor just so you can indulge in mind-bending and world-shattering activities such as eating a bit of burnt toast, hanging some washing with tissue fluff all over it or engaging in yet another thrilling attempt to run the gauntlet of Food-o-rama without being tempted by an individual mudcake with chocolate cream filling. Yep, there are days when it all seems a bit futile. And if it’s like that for housewives and unemployment benefit recipients – what’s it like for cabbages and kings?
Does KRudd, for instance, get out of bed some mornings and think, ‘Sod this for a lark – I don’t feel like running the country today. I might just get my hottie bottle and the latest Stephen King and pop back under the doona.’ Does the Pope think, ‘I can hardly be arsed lifting my hands to cross myself. What’s on telly?’ And does there come a day Bill Gates can’t be bothered opening his wallet to have a look and decides to just shuffle off down to Centrelink instead? Probably. They just don’t tell us about it. They are aware the show must go on.
You must, therefore, force yourself to look upon each new day as a journey in which you venture out with your thermos full, your pockets sagging with the weight of Hobbit Bread and chocolate buttons, valiantly endeavouring to see it through until the end. Along the way, there will inevitably be obstacles and hurdles. Be man enough to soldier on. Nobody else will notice, but it’s imperative you don’t fail yourself.
Be assured, bad things will happen. This is a given. Worst case scenario – running out to the mailbox in your nightie to whip out the Kmart catalogue and inadvertently bumping into a couple of Mormons on the way back. Best case scenario – you catch a glimpse of them out of the window first and have time to crawl under the bed. In other words, there are things which can be headed off at the pass – it is not always necessary to plunge headlong into a volcano in order to reach your destination. Take the phone off the hook, lock all the doors and don’t let Mr Boogedy find you.
And just because you don’t happen to be KRudd or Mr Gates, it doesn’t mean your journey is any less important. Not by any means. Be cheered by this knowledge – without people like you, Ruddy and Billy would not have a reason for existing. There’d be nobody to tax, nobody to impress. Without any fanfare, you serve your purpose well.
On those uninspired days it is easy to feel life has passed you by. Be of great cheer – it most assuredly hasn’t. There are envelopes out there with your name showing importantly through the little clear windows. There are biscuit companies relying on your patronage. There are authors dying for you to read them and actors waiting for you to watch. Without you, the whole damn place would come to a grinding halt. This is the number one important fact you must grasp. Even on a bad hair day, it could be worse – it could be a bald day. And on a bald day – if you have a head, it’s a bonus. Gratitude is the key.
In the meantime, I’ve got all these words, but not necessarily in the right order. They just won’t string themselves together. It’s never been more difficult to make something out of nothing. It’s never been more obvious that’s what I’m doing.
There. I’ve just done a wordcount. There are 726 of them, which should keep my editor very happy.
Ho hum …
Ed note: You’re fired.